You are not A Junk

There are many people who are being passed by because others don't see what is in them. But God has shown me what's in me, and I know it is in you too. 
 Gen 1:26-27 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”²⁷ So God created man in his own image,   in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
My job is to stop you and say: "Can you see what's in you? Do you know your potential? Do you know that you are not just someone born in a ghetto over the hill? There's a wealth of potential in you." The engine on your inside, is of a great capacity. 
The Bible says, in 1 John 4:4  Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
A sculptor sees so differently. They say Michelangelo used to walk around a block of marble for days, just walking around it, talking to himself. First he would see things in the rock; then he would go and take them out. 
1 Corinthians 2:9  But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

Insight like that of a sculptor is seen in the Bible. When the world dumps and rejects you, you land on the garbage heap of the world, God walks along and picks you up. He looks deep within you and sees a person of great worth.
Don't ever let anybody throw you away. You are not junk. When God looks at you, He sees things that everybody else ignores. you are worth so much that Jesus went to Calvary to salvage and reclaim you. The spirit of God connected to your spirit is the only true judge of your worth. Don't accept that opinions of others because they do not see what God sees.

When God looks at you, He sees things that everybody else ignores.

Change of Name

1 Peter 3:6-8 (KJV), Isaiah 43:1; 44:21; 51:1

There is a difference between Sarai and Sarah, Abraham and Abram, Jacob and Isreal. The latter was who they were before they experienced God.

The bible described Sarah as a woman who was submissive and who honored her husband but that wasn't the case before she encountered God. When she was Saria, she was controlling and not submissive. 

The greatest need of a man is honor. As a wife, don't major on the minor and minor on the major. There is more to just being a good cook and a clean wife, all these your husband can easily buy. But when you are supportive and caring you add real value to him.

Honor is an innate of any man no matter his level in life. This is something every man desires.

The greatest need of a woman is security. Money is not enough, they desire more than that. A woman needs affirmation. Learn to compliment her. Give her your undivided attention. Be nice to your children but don't let it affect the attention you give to your wife. The best way to win your children is to love their mother.

As a wife, don't compare your husband with another man it is not healthy for your relationship. It will always be green from the outside, you can't tell what they are going through from the outside.
The greatest need of a man is honor.

Don't talk to him with disrespect, words don't die. The words you tell him has much more impact than you think. Your words have the capacity to push your husband beyond his limits. Validate your husband, encourage him. Men always live up to the expectation you raise.

Emotions are bad leaders but they are good followers. Don't follow your emotions instead follow the word of God. Don't curse your children when they get you angry. Don't speak to your spouse out of anger.

There is little you can do when you are offended but what matters the most is the decision you take afterwards. 
You have to be smart in handling your husband's family. Be a wise woman by following the leading of your husband. Let him guide you into handling his relatives perfectly. Smartness has nothing to do with age but with the Word of God. 

As a wife, let your husband see the effect of the word of God in your life. Don't just be a christian in words, let it be apparent in your character.
#PastorBiodun #MyHabitationIsBlessed #YearOfTheNew

Forgive yourself too

You  not  only  have  to  forgive  others,  you  also  have  to forgive  yourself!  It's  hard  sometimes  to  forgive  yourself  for missing  it  and  failing,  isn't  it?  But  you  have  to  do  it  if  you  want your  faith  and  prayers  to  work! 

If  you  don't  forgive  yourself,  it  can  keep  you  from  receiving healing,  and  it  can  keep  your  prayers  from  being  answered because  your  faith  won't  work  except  by  love. If  you  don't  forgive  yourself,  it  will  hinder  your  faith  just  as much  as  unforgiveness  toward  another  person  will  hinder  your faith.

  It's  just  as  wrong  not  to  forgive  yourself  and  to  harbor  ill will  and  animosity  against  yourself  as  it  is  not  to  forgive someone else. 

1  JOHN  3:18-21 18  My  little  children,  let  us  not  love  in  word,  neither in  tongue;  but  in  deed  and  in  truth. 19  And  hereby  we  know  that  we  are  of  the  truth,  and shall  assure  our  hearts  before  him. 20  FOR  IF  OUR  HEART  CONDEMN  US,  God  is  greater than  our  heart,  and  knoweth  all  things. 21  Beloved,  IF  OUR  HEART  CONDEMN  US  NOT,  THEN HAVE WE CONFIDENCE TOWARD GOD. 

You  see,  if  you  harbor  unforgiveness  and  ill  will  in  your heart,  your  heart  will  condemn  you,  and  you  won't  be  able  to come  boldly  before  God  to  get  your  petitions  answered.  Your prayers  will  be  hindered. But  if  you  walk  in  love,  your  heart  won't  condemn  you.  If you'll  forgive  —  not  only  others,  but  forgive  yourself  —  your heart  will  not  condemn  you.  Then  you  will  have  confidence  in coming  before  God  in  prayer.

Life and Hope

You may  be  sure  that  wisdom  is  good for the  soul. Get  wisdom  and you  have  a  bright  future."

Wisdom  is  the  source  of  everything.  With  wisdom, we  need  not  fear  the  future.  On  the  contrary,  there  is  great hope  for  us  when  we  walk  in  wisdom.  

And  this  hope  will never  be  frustrated.  Wisdom  cannot  deceive  or  disappoint, wisdom  is  real.  And  is  the  answer  to  all  things. 

 It  is  the  key to  a  successful  and abundant  life. How  often,  we  fear  the  future?  And  we  care  about our  lives?  Why  live  without  hope? 
 Wisdom  is  all  we  need. If  we  have  the  wisdom,  we  have  everything.  We  must  seek practical  wisdom  for  our  lives.  "To  be  happy  is  not  enough know  the  theory,  it  must  be  put  into  practice...  Wisdom  is limited to  actions, not  to words" . 

The  learning  process  always  includes  three  steps:
  1- Knowledge;
  2-  Understanding;  
3-  Application.

  The  results arise   when   we  apply  in  practice  what  we  know  and understand  in  theory.  "You  must  learn  to  translate  wisdom and  strong feelings  into labor"  (Jim  Rohn). Wisdom   is   not   automatic   or   immediate.  

 If  we  love  wisdom  above  all things,  wisdom  will  give  us  everything  we  need. 
 Solomon even  said:  "The  beginning  of  wisdom  is  this:  Get  wisdom. Though  it  cost  all  you  have,  get  understanding"  (Proverbs 4:7  NIV).  And  why  lose  everything  we  possess  in  exchange for  wisdom  and  knowledge?  Wisdom  and  knowledge  will give  us  much  more  than  we  possess.  

Wisdom  is  the  key  that can   open  all  the  doors,  even  those  doors  we  seemed impossible!

Knowing how to get a man effectively

These days, there are a lot of women who are still single even though they are already on the right age to have a boyfriend or settle down on their own. One of their common reasons is that they cannot find the man that qualifies to their standards. Some of them are just too shy to entertain some male suitors. There are even some of these single women who think that men will just hurt them in the end. In case you are one of these ladies, then here are some effective tips on how to get a boyfriend that you can try:

Mingle with Men

If men do not chase you, then why not chase after them. This does not mean that you have to do stalking on the guy that you really want. What is being pertained here is you should mingle with men. This is not as scary as you think it is. However, you have to remember that being fake will not bring you anywhere. You have to be yourself as much as possible. Have fun with men and show they who you really are. Just in case you don't know, most men like those women who are not pretending to be somebody. They also love easy-going women, whom they can talk to with some interesting topics.

Get to Know Men Even Better

Once you already found a prospect who also shows great interest on you, give him the chance. Try to know him even better by talking to him. Nevertheless, make sure that you do not sound like you are hunting for a boyfriend. It will be an awkward thing on you, right? Guys may also start to stay away from once they notice that you are looking for a boyfriend that is why you mingle on them. Remember not to be deceived by their looks. There are so much interesting things from men apart from their physical appearance, of course.

Be Sure You Are Eyeing on a Single Man

If you do not want to get in any trouble, then you have to make sure that you are talking to a single man. If he is currently in a relationship, all of your hair strands might be pulled by his girlfriend. Can you picture out how embarrassing is that? You can observe his ring finger if he is already married, or simply ask him if he is currently in a relationship. Even so, you should do it without any amount of malice. Just try to be casual upon asking such question.

These are just some of the numerous things that you can try if you are one of those who are asking how to get a boyfriend effectively.

Refreshing your Relationship

Six things to try when you run out of things to talk about

So how do you push past that feeling. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some things you can try…

1. Write down things you want to tell your partner (or ask them) throughout the day

If you write down things you want to say, you won’t have to struggle to remember them later.

This practice also disciplines you to notice little things to discuss with your partner. It can help you live your day more mindfully–make you more aware of your actions and choices, and more grateful for your blessings.

2. Tell them something that you’re grateful for

Did you know that on a day-to-day basis, most of us are better at focusing on and remembering negative experiences than positive ones? This is called the negativity bias, and it’s why we often start with the difficult or frustrating things when answering the question “how was your day?”

The good news, however, is that we can literally train our brains to think more positively. If we teach ourselves to scan our environment for good things to focus on and talk about this will improve our mood in the short term, make us happier over time, and infuse our relationship with more positive energy.

So practice identifying things that you’re grateful for . Then share these things with your partner.

3. Tell them something from your day, even if it seems small or unimportant

Try telling your loved one stories about the small moments in your life. Paint them a picture with your words. This can help your partner feel more connected to your present reality, and it can help you feel like they understand a little more about what’s really going on for you.

4. Ask questions

When you’re fresh out of things to say (and preferably long before that)

So when you feel like you haven’t got much to talk about yourself, ask questions. And if you’re stuck for questions to ask, pick up a book of questions and look through it for inspiration.

5. Dig deeper

If you feel like you’ve sort of stalled in your relationship or you’re looking for new things to do together, find some resources to help you dig deeper and learn new things about each other, explore your strengths, personality, love languages, sense of humor, and more.

Words of Affirmation

Communicating Love through Words of Affirmation.

1. Starting with a quote by Dr. Mike Murdock, he said " Say only what you want another to remember"
If the primary Love Language of your spouse is Words, then little remarks, comments or compliments can make a big difference. Words are important to everyone, yet for some people they are much more important because that is their love language.
Words coming from our spouse could mean a lot to us because its coming from someone very special.

2. Your Words can build up your spouse, or tear him/her down depending on "how" you use it.
One very important way we can communicate love to our spouse is through the words of our mouth.
John Maxwell once said, many people that speak bad and unkind words to people do it out of habit, without knowing it. Many people struggle with unkind words.
Some don't even see anything wrong in using unkind words.
Some people's conversations are naturally seasoned with discouragements, negativity, condemnations. These are fatal and poisonous to the health of relationships.

3. If your SPOUSE cannot trust you with things important to him/her, then you have been giving underdose of words of affirmation.
By saying words of Affirmation I mean KIND, PLEASANT and POSITIVE words or words that SUPPORT and ENCOURAGE your spouse.
Mr Muyiwa Adigun once said, never let another Man/Woman say sweeter words to your Spouse.
Words of affirmation could be a verbal compliment, an appreciation, an encouragement etc.

4. Your Words will either inspire courage, or produce discouragements.
Some people believe that it is your right to always express your mind.
You hear words like "just pour out your heart and say it as it is".
In relating with your spouse, empathy is key. See things from the other person's perspective. As much as you want to express your mind bear in mind that your words should minister grace to people.
To communicate love to your spouse through your words you have to see things through his/her perspective.

5. Now your WORDS can do either of the following
5a. Your Words can KILL A DREAM, AN IDEA or it can GIVE LIFE.
Our words carry power, it has death and life in it
Prov 18:21 says: Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

5b. It has the ability to BUILD UP or TEAR DOWN your spouse's self esteem and confidence.
I'm sure you don't want your spouse to be torn down. Be intentional with your choice of words.
That's why the word of God says to speak gracious words that has the ability to edify or builds up a man.
Eph 4:29 says Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers

6. The following happens when you use Words of Affirmation
6a. You inspire COURAGE into your spouse.
Inspired Words are encouragement.
Someone says "encouragement creates a genius"
Some abilities dormant in your spouse might just need a word of encouragement to be acted upon.
Encouragement is different from pressurizing. Don't just force your spouse to do something because you feel it's good for them
To encourage you must see the world from your spouse perspective.
Know and understand whats most important things to your spouse and encourage him/her to accomplish it.
Load your spouse with daily benefits of encouraging words.
Examples of words to avoid...

WRONG: You never call, or care about my well fare. I wonder what I have done wrong
RIGHT: Babe, how do we improve on our communication. I believe we can make things work out better between us.

And sometimes, our words mean good but the TONE... Oh my God, makes it totally bad.
Select the right words and the right tones. Else, you may mean one thing, but your tone will pass a different message across.

7. How to sweeten your Words
7a. APPRAISALS: Appraise your spouse for the things he/she does rather than criticizing him for the things he has not done.

7b. ENCOURAGEMENTS: Don't judge based on your spouse short comings.
Encourage him/her to do better next time.

7c. TONE: Be mindful of the tone of your voice.
The same words could mean different things depending on the the tone used.
Your tone of voice should express what's on your mind, because your words and your tone will eventually convey your message to your spouse.

7d. RESPOND DON'T REACT. Learn to respond softly to angry words spoken by your spouse. Reactions are usually based on inadequate information that leads to unintelligent actions. Responses are calculated actions emanating from a unperturbed mind.
Pro 15:1 A soft answer turn away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

7e. FORGIVE: Don't remind your spouse of his/her past mistakes.
Your words should bring healing rather than causing more harm.
Prov 12:18 says There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.

7f. IMAGE: create a great image of your spouse wherever you go. Learn to say positive and sweet things about your spouse whether he/she is present or not.
Prov 16:24 says Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

7g. LISTEN: Be quick to hear and be slow to speak
Many people listen to reply, few listen to understand. Understanding is very vital to the growth of your relationship.
Prov 29:20
See a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.
Prov 18:13
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

Needs of Husband and Wife in a Home

The Needs of Husband and Wife in a Home

To the glory of God, I’ve been married . And by God’s special grace, the Holy Spirit has revealed some things to me that I’d love to share with you all.

1. First all, When it comes to marriage, it is not about YOu

2. It takes two to tangle; it also takes two to mess things up

3. Many people enter marriage with expectations that will only satisfy themselves.

4. Marriage is bigger than me, myself and I.

5. Marriage is a team. Every successful team has a goal that they’re working towards. In order to accomplish that goal, they must work together (Amos 3:3)

6. Every successful team also has a coach… For us believers, the Holy Spirit is our coach.
Learning to partner with the holy spirit in marriage is one of the most important skills you’ll ever need to acquire.

7. Each marriage union that has been ordained by God has a purpose. When you keep that purpose in view and work towards it together as a team, you honor God in your marriage (the ultimate goal of marriage).

8. In marriage, we must aim to please God and meet the needs of our spouse. Bare in mind, that your spouse is God’s gift to you. You must cherish this gift, never despise it. God only gives good and perfect gifts. The day you start to despise this gift, you give the devil a room in your home. Then he begins to feed you with lies, once you believe them issues begin to arise.

9. We must understand that no marriage is the same. Just like no person is the same. We were all uniquely designed for destiny

10. Therefore the needs of your spouse may differ from that of someone else’s spouse. Never be tempted to compare your marriage to anyone else’s or spouse to anyone else’s.

11. Learn to love and nourish what you have. The grass is not greener on the other side. It is the grass that is well kept and nourished that is greener.

12. Marriage is a union of two imperfect people on a journey to purpose by the leading of a perfect God.

13. Learn to manage your expectations of your spouse and give them room to learn and grow. Just like their are growth pains, there will be some tough times but never loose your focus.

14. Remember aim to always please God. Love is always the way and love is always the answer… Never forget that. This is why God commanded us to love, it is not a suggestion it is the recipe for a successful life.

So what does a man want from his wife in marriage? And what does a woman want from her husband???

Let’s look to the bible, it has the answers to all of life’s questions.

First of all, in the marriage union the ultimate need for both men and women is reverence (Ephesians 5:21).
However, each one interprets reverence differently.

What husbands need: Ephesians 5:21-24

Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing

So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands
Ephesians 5:21-24 MSG

1. Men need submission from their wives in all things.

2. Men need their wives to trust their leadership; they need their wives to depend on them.

Husband provides leadership by cherishing!
Exquisite

3. Men need to be understood, not challenged.
4. Men need their wives’ support

5. Men need ‘followership’ from their wives; they need their wives to follow their guidance.

When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
1 Peter 3:2 AMP
That’s the summary…respect him, defer to him, revere him, etc

6. Men need a warm environment to come home to
7. Men also need sex regularly

Now moving on to what women need… Ephesians 5:25-33

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
Ephesians 5:25-28 MSG

No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
Ephesians 5:29-33 MSG
1. Women need love: The primary need of a wife is LOVE.- pure, undilatued, unadulterated, uncomprised REAL quality love (read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman)

2. Women need communication; This love should be communicated through your words. (i.e. Communication- love can not be assumed, it must be expressed (communicated)

3. Women need affirmation – Every action and word spoken by the husband to his wife must be carefully selected to affirm the wife (Words are significant to women; build her up with your words…just like God sent his word to heal and deliver us)

4. Women need to be a priority: Put your wives first (cherish her), ensure that she is well taken care of (make sure she’s well dressed, fed, etc… The wife is the reflection of the husband, just like Christ is the brightness of God’s glory).

5. Women need security, a husband should protect his wife; he should be her covering.

6. Women need guidance, they need a leader. In order to help you fulfill your destiny, they need to see and believe in your vision.

7. Women need to be fed with the Word of God from the mouth of their husband.

When it is all said and done, marriage is honorable. It is a divine convenant; hence both husband and wife should rely on the leading of the Holy Spirit (it is not my human might or power, it is by the Spirit).