Needs of Husband and Wife in a Home

The Needs of Husband and Wife in a Home

To the glory of God, I’ve been married . And by God’s special grace, the Holy Spirit has revealed some things to me that I’d love to share with you all.

1. First all, When it comes to marriage, it is not about YOu

2. It takes two to tangle; it also takes two to mess things up

3. Many people enter marriage with expectations that will only satisfy themselves.

4. Marriage is bigger than me, myself and I.

5. Marriage is a team. Every successful team has a goal that they’re working towards. In order to accomplish that goal, they must work together (Amos 3:3)

6. Every successful team also has a coach… For us believers, the Holy Spirit is our coach.
Learning to partner with the holy spirit in marriage is one of the most important skills you’ll ever need to acquire.

7. Each marriage union that has been ordained by God has a purpose. When you keep that purpose in view and work towards it together as a team, you honor God in your marriage (the ultimate goal of marriage).

8. In marriage, we must aim to please God and meet the needs of our spouse. Bare in mind, that your spouse is God’s gift to you. You must cherish this gift, never despise it. God only gives good and perfect gifts. The day you start to despise this gift, you give the devil a room in your home. Then he begins to feed you with lies, once you believe them issues begin to arise.

9. We must understand that no marriage is the same. Just like no person is the same. We were all uniquely designed for destiny

10. Therefore the needs of your spouse may differ from that of someone else’s spouse. Never be tempted to compare your marriage to anyone else’s or spouse to anyone else’s.

11. Learn to love and nourish what you have. The grass is not greener on the other side. It is the grass that is well kept and nourished that is greener.

12. Marriage is a union of two imperfect people on a journey to purpose by the leading of a perfect God.

13. Learn to manage your expectations of your spouse and give them room to learn and grow. Just like their are growth pains, there will be some tough times but never loose your focus.

14. Remember aim to always please God. Love is always the way and love is always the answer… Never forget that. This is why God commanded us to love, it is not a suggestion it is the recipe for a successful life.

So what does a man want from his wife in marriage? And what does a woman want from her husband???

Let’s look to the bible, it has the answers to all of life’s questions.

First of all, in the marriage union the ultimate need for both men and women is reverence (Ephesians 5:21).
However, each one interprets reverence differently.

What husbands need: Ephesians 5:21-24

Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing

So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands
Ephesians 5:21-24 MSG

1. Men need submission from their wives in all things.

2. Men need their wives to trust their leadership; they need their wives to depend on them.

Husband provides leadership by cherishing!
Exquisite

3. Men need to be understood, not challenged.
4. Men need their wives’ support

5. Men need ‘followership’ from their wives; they need their wives to follow their guidance.

When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
1 Peter 3:2 AMP
That’s the summary…respect him, defer to him, revere him, etc

6. Men need a warm environment to come home to
7. Men also need sex regularly

Now moving on to what women need… Ephesians 5:25-33

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
Ephesians 5:25-28 MSG

No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
Ephesians 5:29-33 MSG
1. Women need love: The primary need of a wife is LOVE.- pure, undilatued, unadulterated, uncomprised REAL quality love (read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman)

2. Women need communication; This love should be communicated through your words. (i.e. Communication- love can not be assumed, it must be expressed (communicated)

3. Women need affirmation – Every action and word spoken by the husband to his wife must be carefully selected to affirm the wife (Words are significant to women; build her up with your words…just like God sent his word to heal and deliver us)

4. Women need to be a priority: Put your wives first (cherish her), ensure that she is well taken care of (make sure she’s well dressed, fed, etc… The wife is the reflection of the husband, just like Christ is the brightness of God’s glory).

5. Women need security, a husband should protect his wife; he should be her covering.

6. Women need guidance, they need a leader. In order to help you fulfill your destiny, they need to see and believe in your vision.

7. Women need to be fed with the Word of God from the mouth of their husband.

When it is all said and done, marriage is honorable. It is a divine convenant; hence both husband and wife should rely on the leading of the Holy Spirit (it is not my human might or power, it is by the Spirit).