Refreshing your Relationship

Six things to try when you run out of things to talk about

So how do you push past that feeling. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some things you can try…

1. Write down things you want to tell your partner (or ask them) throughout the day

If you write down things you want to say, you won’t have to struggle to remember them later.

This practice also disciplines you to notice little things to discuss with your partner. It can help you live your day more mindfully–make you more aware of your actions and choices, and more grateful for your blessings.

2. Tell them something that you’re grateful for

Did you know that on a day-to-day basis, most of us are better at focusing on and remembering negative experiences than positive ones? This is called the negativity bias, and it’s why we often start with the difficult or frustrating things when answering the question “how was your day?”

The good news, however, is that we can literally train our brains to think more positively. If we teach ourselves to scan our environment for good things to focus on and talk about this will improve our mood in the short term, make us happier over time, and infuse our relationship with more positive energy.

So practice identifying things that you’re grateful for . Then share these things with your partner.

3. Tell them something from your day, even if it seems small or unimportant

Try telling your loved one stories about the small moments in your life. Paint them a picture with your words. This can help your partner feel more connected to your present reality, and it can help you feel like they understand a little more about what’s really going on for you.

4. Ask questions

When you’re fresh out of things to say (and preferably long before that)

So when you feel like you haven’t got much to talk about yourself, ask questions. And if you’re stuck for questions to ask, pick up a book of questions and look through it for inspiration.

5. Dig deeper

If you feel like you’ve sort of stalled in your relationship or you’re looking for new things to do together, find some resources to help you dig deeper and learn new things about each other, explore your strengths, personality, love languages, sense of humor, and more.